


Welcome to the Dark Days of this Secret Life Untold

by IlaikHeda



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence, Gerard has some PTSD, M/M, eventual sorta happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-22 19:46:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19984951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IlaikHeda/pseuds/IlaikHeda
Summary: It’s 2019 and Gerard hasn’t seen Frank in god only knows how long. But when Gerard shows up at Frank’s house in the middle of the night drunk, messed up clothes, tears streaming down his face, and multiple cuts and bruises, frank knows that something bad has happened. He takes in his old friend, upset that he’s drunk but also because he doesn’t know what the hell happened. Why does he have all those cuts and bruises and why was he in tears?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I’m not very good at writing chapters. So yeah, this isn’t gonna be the best of things. Also this is a very short chapter

Chapter 1. Welcome to the 6 years of my life you didn’t see

<><><><>

For the past six years Frank has moved on. He’s moved on from the band splitting up, and loosing contact with his best friends. Sure, some days were rough, but now they’re just a distant memory. Gerard, however is not quite so distant. Recently Netflix added a tv show called The Umbrella Academy, made by none other than Gerard Way. 

It has always been a known fact that Gerard loves comics, but right now, he’s living his dream and Frank can’t even bring himself to watch the god damn show. Even now as he reclines on his couch with a bag of popcorn. He’s bored and just wants something to watch. So, he turns on the news...how original. As he finishes off his bag of popcorn something bangs against his front door, scaring the living shit out of him. He sets the bag down and cautiously walks to the door. Inside, his heart is hammering. He reaches his hand out to open the door. All he sees is a man in worn clothes, who reeks of alcohol. 

“Look, I don’t know who the hell you are, but get off of my property or I’ll call the cops,” Frank threatens. The man looks up at him. Tears are running down the mans face. Frank almost doesn’t recognise the man. “Gerard?”

“I...need help. He’s comin for me,” Gerard says with a gravelly voice. His tears fall faster.

“Who? This has happened before when you’re drunk. You’ve “seen” people bef-“

“Mikey. He’s comin. Please Frank,” Gerard pleads. He steps into the full light from his porch light, and that’s when Frank sees them. The cuts a bruises that litter his body. 

“What the fuck? Alright, get inside,” Frank says, putting his hand on Gerard’s shoulder, who flinches out of reach. They step inside the house. Frank motions for the man to sit down on the couch. “You gotta tell me what’s going on.”

“Yeah. I know. Can-can I wait until I’m sober? I didn’t drink on purpose. He made me. I was clean for six fucking years!” Gerard says, his voice gradually rising until he’s shouting. 

“I don’t give a damn right now. I’m more concerned about why you show up at my house at two in the morning, drunk and beat up.”

“I said I’d tell you. But the shit I’m gonna tell ya is somethin only a sober person can admit. I’m too fucked up to do much of anythin,” Gerard says, looking at his old friend. Frank sighs. 

“Fine, but your staying in my room. I don’t trust you when you’re drunk,” Frank explains as he leads the drunken man to his room. He shuts the door behind them. Gerard immediately tries to take off his shirt, but can’t.

“Can you help me? I’m sorry to ask. It’s just sometimes I try to go to fast, and I just get caught up,” Gerard mumbles as Franks helps him with his shirt.

“What are you talking about?” Frank asks, but he can’t seem to hear him, because he undoes his belt and pulls off his pants, leaving him in his boxers. Frank doesn’t know what to do. 

“I’m sorry. Please don’t be upset that I’m late. I’m here now. Please,” Gerard begs. He doesn’t move, but he looks away from his friend. It’s like he’s embarrassed.

“What? Just get in bed and sleep okay? You’ll feel better in the morning.”

“Okay. If that’s what you want,” Gerard says, climbing under the covers. Frank lays down next to him, giving him plenty of space. Finally, Gerard closes his eyes, and frank follows suit. When Frank wakes up it’s because Gerard is screaming.


	2. How Do You Disappear From the Nightmare of Reality?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y’all like it

Frank was happily sleeping when he wakes up to screaming. At first he’s confused, because who would be screaming in his house when he lives alone? Then he remembers last night. He looks beside him to see his friend sitting against the headboard, hands cover his head, knees to his, screaming like someone is trying to murder him. 

“Gerard!” Frank yells, grabbing his shoulders to try to calm home down. Gerard lifts his head and looks at his friend. Frank sees pain and terror in those eyes. What the hell happened?

“I-I’m okay,” Gerard murmurs as he lowers his hands. He’s well aware of how he looks to his friend. Bruised and beaten. Vaguely, he remembers trying to take his clothes off, because he thought he was with Mikey and Ray. It’s become a habit with them...stripping whenever they ask.

“What happened?”

“I had a bad dream. Could I shower real quick?” Gerard asks, avoiding the question. This is a very bad situation. No one knows what he’s gone through. And there’s a reason for that. 

“I guess. Come here, I’ll show ya,” Frank says, letting go of his arms. He slides off the bed, waiting for Gerard to follow. Together they walk to the master bathroom. “There’s shampoo and soap in the shower, and here’s a towel,” Frank says, grabbing a towel from the closet. Gerard takes it from him.

“Thanks.”

“I’ll be right outside. I’ll stop by the store to grab an extra toothbrush for you,” Frank says as he leaves, closing the door behind him. Gerard turns the water on, waiting for it to warm up before he takes off his boxers and steps under the hot water. His cuts sting under the water, but at least they’re getting cleaned. He grabs the shampoo and lathers it into his hair, scrubbing his scalp. The soapy water washes down his body. How will he explain the past six years to Frank? It’s not going to be easy, that’s for sure. 

He quickly washes his body and after turning off the water he steps out into the cool air. Grabbing his towel from the floor he dries off, realising that he has no clean clothes. He puts his boxers back on and walks out of the bathroom to find Frank sitting on the floor, his back against the wall. 

“Sorry, I grabbed some clothes for you,” Frank says, handing out a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt. Gerard takes them and puts them on right there, not caring about the other man. Taking a deep breath, Gerard finds the other mans eyes.

“I suppose I owe you an explanation.”

“Yeah, you kinda do,” Frank says gently as he stands up. “I’ll make us breakfast, we’ll talk at the table.”

“Sure,” Gerard mumbles, following his friend downstairs. He takes a seat at the table, leaving Frank to prep their breakfast of cereal. Frank sits down and places a bowl in front of him. 

“Now talk to me. What’s going on? And why did you strip last night?”

“Okay. So shortly after the band broke up Ray and I got together. Things were going great, we were happy. Then Mikey called, asking if he could stay with us. I was reluctant at first, but Ray was on board. Mikey moved in a couple days later. Everything was going alright until Ray and Mikey came home drunk. It all went south from there. Ray...he did so many bad things to me,” Gerard says, his voice cracking at the end. He rubs his eyes, hoping to make the tear go away. 

“What did he do?” Frank asks in a gentle voice. He reaches his hand out to his friend, who accepts it.

“The first time he only hit me, but as time went on he would rape me. That’s it.”

“What about Mikey? You said he was coming for you.”

“Yeah, he did the beatings. And I escaped in the middle of one last night. He was too drunk to stop me,” Gerard explains. He avoids looking at Frank’s face. He’s embarrassed, and humiliated. He’s supposed to be a grown man...men don’t get beaten by their brother. That’s why men are stronger...they’re supposed to protect people, not hurt. 

“Mikey was never like that, or Ray. What changed?” Frank asks. Gerard laughs bitterly.

“Mostly drugs and alcohol. But I saw the look in their eyes when they did that stuff to me. They enjoyed it. They enjoyed causing me pain,” Gerard grits out the last part. He lets go of Frank’s hand. 

“I’m going to go down to the police station to talk to them. I’m gonna call a friend to stay with you while I’m gone, okay?” 

“Yeah, whatever,” Gerard grumbles as Frank dials his friends number. After a few rings the person on the other end picks up. Frank puts the phone on speaker.

“Hello?”

“Hey Brendon.”

“Hey man! How’s it going?”

“Well, I’m in a bit of a situation. That’s why I’m calling.”

“Well, what’s the situation?” 

“Gerard, you wanna tell him?” Frank asks quietly. Gerard gives him a look of panic.

“Wait, Gerard’s with you? Why’s he with you? Are the rumours of the band getting back together true?”

“Yeah, he is. And that’s kinda the situation...he’s hurt, Brendon.”

“So the rumours are fake. Okay, what’s going on though? Who’s hurt Gerard?”

“Mikey and Ray hurt him. That’s all I’m saying right now. Could you possibly come over and stay with him while I go to the cops?”

“Sure, but Ryan’s with me right now. We’re driving back from breakfast. We’ll be there in about...five minutes.”

“Okay. I’ll explain more when you get here.”

“Alright. See ya in a few,” Brendon says and hangs up. Gerard glares at Frank.

“You made me sound like I’m a hurt puppy or something. Dammit Frank!” Gerard shouts, slamming his hand down on the table. 

“I’m sorry, but you are hurt! And I’m trying to help you! I don’t know what else to do!” Frank yells back. 

“Neither do I! For six fucking years I’ve been afraid of the people I loved. And I didn’t know how to live, how to do anything. Because being betrayed like that hurts and it tears you down until you’re nothing!” Gerard yells. Tears stream down his face. He looks away from Frank as the doorbell rings. He walks to the door to let in Brendon and Ryan.

“Hey man, are you all okay?” Ryan asks, walking to the kitchen with Brendon and Frank following him.

“No. I’m fine, but Gerard...”

“Hey guys,” Gerard says shyly. And for the second time in six years his big bad secret is out of the bag. Ryan and Brendon stare at the purple bruises that run along his jaw and left side of his face. 

“Who the hell did this? Because I swear to god I’ll kill them,” Ryan growls.


	3. Lies From the Past Unfold Into Truths of the Present

“You aren’t killing anyone,” Brendon says, grabbing his husbands hand.

“But who did this? How could anyone hurt someone like this?” Ryan asks sadly. He looks at his husband, who only looks between Gerard and Frank for an answer.

“Ray and Mikey. They got hooked on drugs and alcohol, and I guess I was the way they took out their anger,” Gerard explains. It almost sounds like he’s defending Mikey and Ray. 

“Frank, go to the police. We’ll make sure everything is okay,” Brendon says. Frank nods his head, and grabbing his keys he’s out of the door.

“Frank made it seem like I’m a hurt puppy. I’m fine,” Gerard grumbles at his friends. 

“Well, you are hurt. And I know that you might be okay, but let us take care of you,” Ryan says. 

“Fine.”

“Alright then. I’ll go get some rubbing alcohol to clean your cuts. I’ll be right back,” Brendon says, leaving the two of them alone. 

“So, do you wanna talk about it?” Ryan asks hesitantly. Gerard, glances at him, then to Brendon who returns with the rubbing alcohol. 

“What is there to talk about?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it would make you feel better,” Brendon suggests as he pours some alcohol onto a towel and dabs at Gerard’s cuts, making him flinch in pain. 

“Okay. Well, what do ya wanna know?”

“How’d you make it six years?” Brendon asks, wiping the last of his visible cuts.

“I listened to them. It took time for me to just let them do what they want to me. I don’t know how I’m still here,” Gerard admits, voice think with tears. He looks at his arms. They’re littered with cuts and bruises. If you look hard enough you can see scars, but those happened at the very beginning. Plus, some of the scars he gave himself. 

“Oh god Gee,” Ryan cries into his hands. Brendon rubs his back in a circular motion.

“It’s not like I could have done anything. It made them happy, so I stayed. They’re gonna be so mad that I left. I need to go, it’s almost time for me to make lunch for them,” Gerard explains, trying to get up, but Brendon stops him. Why won’t they let him go? Who knows what Mikey and Ray will do to him if he’s not there on time.

“No. You’re staying here,” Brendon says in a stern voice. He doesn’t want to be this forceful with his friend, but how else can he make Gerard stay?

“You don’t understand. I wasn’t in my right frame of mind last night. I was a little scared, but I’m fine now. I need to get back home,” Gerard insists, standing up this time. He avoids looking at his friends, afraid that they’ll see the fear in his eyes.

“Clearly you weren’t. But you still came to Frank. You knew you needed help,” Ryan snaps. He stands up to face Gerard. The older man looks down at him, but Ryan holds his ground.

“Get the fuck outa my way. I need to go home,” Gerard growls. He can feel the fear growing in his stomach. He knows it’s safer to stay, but he has to go anyway. 

“No! You’re staying here until Frank comes back with the police!” Ryan yells, making Gerard flinch, but he quickly regains himself.

“I’m not.”

“You are not going back to the people who hurt you! Why can’t you accept that!” Ryan shouts. 

“They do what’s best for me! They do those things to make me stronger. That’s why they do it, so back off. You don’t know anything!” Gerard yells back. He runs to the door, hoping that his friends won’t try to stop him. He runs down the street, glancing behind him to see if his friends followed him. Thankfully, they didn’t. It doesn’t take much time for him to become out of breath, but he’s over halfway home. The houses along the street are familiar to him now. He sees his neighbor’s house, and he runs to his next door. He knocks on the door, hoping that Ray will answer. The door swings open to reveal Mikey.

“Where the hell have you been?” Mikey growls, dragging Gerard in the house. 

“I’m sorry. I was going to run some errands, but I ran into Frank. He knows! He made me tell him! I tried not to, but he told the police. I’m so sorry Sir! I’m so sorry,” Gerard cries. Mikey slaps him across the cheek.

“What the fuck is wrong with you! How could you betray us like that!”

“I didn’t want to tell him! But he made me. He-he called Brendon and Ryan. They know too. I tried to get away but they wouldn’t let me,” Gerard sobs. He can feel his walls collapsing. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Frank was going to save him, but he left...again. 

“It’s okay, come here,” Mikey soothes, embracing his brother. Gerard relaxes into the hug. It’s not very often he gets hugged, but this one feels weird. Almost like a calm before the storm.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know. Let’s go talk to Ray. He’ll know what to do,” Mikey says darkly. He slightly smirks as he lets go of his brother. Together they walk up the stairs. Ray is peacefully sleeping when he feels a body spoon him from behind.

“I’m sorry I’m late. I was trying to run errands but Frank saw me. He made me tell him why I had cuts and bruises on me,” Gerard whispers to his boyfriend. 

“It’s okay. Tonight we’ll take care of everything. Sleep with me until then?” Ray asks. Gerard holds him tighter. This was something he never gets to do. Ray always makes him sleep away from him. 

“I’m here. I won’t ever leave again,” Gerard mumbles against his boyfriend’s back. He snuggles his head into his shoulder. Maybe one day Ray would stop forcing him to have sex with him. Maybe one day, they could be happy together, but until then, Gerard remembers how Frank was going to save him. How Frank gave him hope that he wasn’t going to die by the hands of his brother and boyfriend.


	4. Running Back to the Poison of Your “Love”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it took this long to put this chapter up. School has been absolutely awful, and my focus hasn’t been on writing. But...I finally finished, so I hope you all enjoy this chapter :)

When Gerard wakes up he’s not in his bed with Ray. Slowly, he opens his eyes to see he’s strapped to a table. Heavy shackles are fastened around his wrists and ankles. His stomach sinks. He thought if he came back Ray and Mikey would treat him better. He tries to yank his arm up, but it only cuts his wrist. “Ow! Shit,” Gerard cries out in pain. He looks down at his cut wrist, and notices that he doesn’t have any clothes on. “No. Oh god no. No no no no,” Gerard whimpers. The door to the left of him bangs open. 

“Since you can’t keep your mouth shut, we have to move to our lake house until the police stop asking questions. If you do this right, we’ll let you eat today,” Mikey explains, stalking in front of Gerard. He grabs his brothers throat and chokes him. “Do you understand?”

“Yes,” Gerard gasps. Mikey lets go of his brothers throat. 

“Good. Now, let’s get started,” Mikey says, pulling a knife from the wall behind him, making Gerard whimper. “Remember what I said. Be good, and you’ll eat today.”

“I remember. I’ll be good,” Gerard promises. Mikey holds the knife to the side of his brothers neck. He pushes down, puncturing the skin. He pushes the knife down making the cut bigger.

“One more. You’re doing great,” Ray says, as he walks in the room.

“What? He left us and he’s only getting two?” Mikey growls. 

“That’s right. He’s mine anyway, not yours. Now leave us alone,” Ray says nonchalantly, grabbing the knife from Mikey’s hand. Mikey walks out the door.

“Why?”

“Because Frank made you tell him, so he should be the one that gets hurt,” Ray gently explains. 

“But-“

“No buts. Once we get to the lake house, we’ll celebrate,” Ray says as he unties his boyfriend. “We’re leaving in a couple hours, so feel free to get your things together,” Ray says, walking out of the room. Gerard is stunned. Ray has never been this nice to him before. He runs up into his room just as his cell phone rings. Tentatively, he answers it.

“Hello?”

“Where the fuck are you?” Frank asks, anger lacing his voice. The tone of his friends voice makes Gerard want to cry. He knows that if he tells the truth Ray will kill him. But then again, Frank already knows where he is. 

“Frank,” Gerard brokenly says into the phone. He hears Frank take a sharp breath. 

“I know you’re at Ray’s. Police are coming, and they’ll be there in ten minuets,” Frank says. Gerard’s heart stops. What if he actually gets saved? Gerard hangs up. He’s too scared to do much of anything. Soon, Ray bursts into his room with a gun in his hand. He shoots Gerard’s leg and he screams. Pain sears up his leg. Nothing compares to the pain he’s feeling.

“You little fuck. Why the hell did you call the police?!” Ray screams. The sirens get closer, and Gerard feels a small flicker of hope in his chest. 

“I didn’t call them! You know I wouldn’t,” Gerard protests weakly. He pushes his hands against his legs to try to stop the bleeding. 

“Then who else would’ve called them? Who else knows you’re here?” 

“No one,” Gerard lies. If Ray finds out that Frank knows where he is, then Ray and Mikey will kill him. 

“Mikey! Get in here!” Ray shouts. He faintly hears footsteps, then the door slams against the wall. 

“They just pulled up. Ray, what the fuck are we gonna do?” Mikey asks, his voice wavering. He looks down at his brother, who is naked and bleeding on the floor.

“We wait here. Stand behind me,” Ray says. He grabs Gerard by his hair and pulls him to his feet, making him scream. He can’t seem to find any strength to stand on his own, so it’s just Ray holding him up. The front door bangs open, and Ray places his gun to the side of his boyfriends head. It doesn’t take the police long to burst into the room. 

“Drop your gun!” A SWAT member yells at Ray, his gun still pressed to Gerard’s head. He whimpers, and Ray pulls his hair even more, making his head jerk back. 

“No! This son of a bitch deserves to die, even if I die with him!” Ray yells back. Mikey nervously shifts behind them, his gun trained on the police officers. 

“Drop your guns!” The SWAT member yells again.

“Ray, drop your fucking gun,” Mikey hisses, though he doesn’t drop his gun. 

“The hell I am,” Ray hisses back. He switches the safety off. Gerard feels tears stream down his face. Ray lowers the gun to the side of his neck. Gerard gears two gun shots, though with one of the shots, pain explodes through the side of his neck, and down his body. He’s never felt pain like this. It’s like fire is running through his veins. The SWAT member runs to him and picks him up. His vision starts to blur, and he passes out.   
****  
When Gerard slowly opens his eyes, his heart begins to race. Where is he? The last thing he remembers is getting shot. He looks around the room he’s in. The plain tan-ish walls give a sharp contrast to the white and silver of the medical machinery and the white blankets in him. Vaguely, he feels bandages around his head, neck, and upper leg. With caution, he moves his head so he can look around the room. He sees Frank, and Brendon sleeping in chairs, their faces relaxed and carefree. He groans, trying to get words out, and he finally does.

“Frank,” He rasps out, no louder than a hoarse whisper, but it was enough to wake him. He rushes to the side of the bed. His hands cupping his face, his thumb stroking his cheek.

“How are you feeling?” Frank asks.

“Like shit,” Gerard mumbles. He’s surprised that he’s actually laying in a hospital bed and not a coffin. He’s lucky he’s even alive.

“That’s kinda to be expected. The doctors said the bullet in your neck barely missed your artery,” Frank explains. He drops his hands from his friends head, so that they’re holding his hands.

“Is he dead?”

“Ray is. Mikey will probably be locked up for the rest of his life.”

“Oh. At least they can’t hurt anyone anymore.”

“I mean, yeah, that’s true. But they still hurt you and I’m so sorry I couldn’t do anything to help you,” Frank cries, his tears splattering on their hands. Gerard doesn’t want to deal with right now, his memories are too fresh.

“It’s okay. I’m fine now.”

“Are you though? You almost died because I wasn’t able to be there for you.”

“But you were. If you hadn’t talked to the police, I would be dead. You saved my life, Frank.”

“At the cost of someone else’s. I know he was a shitty person, but does that mean he deserves to die?” Frank asks, his voice thick with tears. 

“He’s one of the people who deserved to die,” Gerard says heartlessly. He takes Franks hand and holds it against his chest. Everything about this moment seems too good to be true. Nothing about his life is good, so why is he getting a good moment now? After all the pain he’s had to endure...but maybe that’s what life is all about....maybe life is about surviving. Maybe it’s about more than just surviving.


	5. Bulletproof Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s not the longest chapter ever but...hey, it’s a happy ending :)

It had been two years since Gerard was shot by Ray. Which means that it’s been a long two years of trying to fix the broken pieces of himself. But with Frank by his side, he did it. So, as Gerard stands in front of the alter, watching as the love of his life, the person who helped him see that he is worth something, walk down the isle in his crisp white suit. He smiles brightly when Frank takes his hand, and says his vows. No one in his life has ever made him feel whole, like he is wanted just the way he is. Frank makes him feel accepted and loved in this world of evil. Frank is the man who saved Gerard’s life in more ways than he can count. He showed him the life is not supposed to be about how you want it to go, but how you make it the best you possibly can...for yourself and others.


End file.
